


Inanna versus the Mountain

by fresne



Category: Sumerian Mythology
Genre: Dark Agenda, Gen, Misses Clause Challenge, Yuletide 2014, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 06:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2841722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fresne/pseuds/fresne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inanna went out for a hike with her badass, mofo lion, Jadbalja, cuz lions need exercise and Inanna needed to sweat out a little of the night before. </p><p>That's how she saw the mountain.</p><p>That's how she got disrespected.</p><p>Inanna did not put up with disrespect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inanna versus the Mountain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [arostine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arostine/gifts).



Inanna went out for a hike with her badass, mofo lion, Jadbalja, cuz lions need exercise and Inanna needed to sweat out a little of the night before. She'd woken up with the pearls of a prostitute around her neck, a hat with a raven's feather, and Jadbalja sniffing whatever reject she'd picked up at the tavern the night before.

Said Reject gave a shriek and an eep, and high tailed out of her bed, which was why he was a Reject. She'd rubbed Jadbalja's head. "Who's a big bad pussycat? Who's a big bad pussycat? You are that's who."

Jadbalja had yawned wide and sniffed where she'd been doing a happy dance with the tavern reject. She shoved him off and got a little medicine out of the Mes cabinet. What was the point of having a cabinet full of useful Mes if she didn't use it? No point, that's what. 

She had her dancing boys pour her a heated bath with sweet herbs on the roof of her temple in the middle of Uruk, which was the city she'd made hers. Her temple was the highest spot in the middle of it, and she lounged in the water looking down. She wasn't Enki. She wasn't Marduk. She wasn't Sky-Father An. She was Inanna.

She had her dancing boys oil her down. She had her dancing girls groom Jadbalja until his mane was smooth and his coat shone, and he was purring like a thunderstorm. She had her wide wings preened by pretty dancing boys in women's robes and handsome warrior women in men's robes. But it was no good. She needed a good sweat. Anyway, she was like the evening and morning star. She popped up one place only to go another.

She put on her hiking sandals. She grabbed a mes hammer for her belt, a quiver full of mes arrows for her back, dipped her all-the-mes ankar weapon in lamb's blood, and set off. Basic stuff for hiking.

At first it wasn't much of a challenge. Pretty flat down by the river. She headed straight out into the hills. There she was. Hiking along. Tall rolling grass around her ankles. Wind from the river behind her. Well groomed lion by her side. She came up over a hill and bam, there it was, Mount Eib. 

This mountain had everything. Lush forests around its base for its skirts. A sort of gorgeous blue shale for a necklace as the trees thinned out to scrub and then to nothing but rock. Topped off by count them three gorgeous snow-capped peaks. 

Inanna said, "Hey, Mountain!" 

Mount Eib gusted a wind back at her.

Course that point, Inanna was filled with hate. She felt disrespected by that mountain. She called out to the mountain. "Hey, mountain, bow down. Queen of Heaven here. Don't you be gusting at me."

Did that mountain bow down? No, it did not. It sat there beautiful and disrespecting her. It even blew a cold frosty breeze down off its snowy peaks, making its forests roar, and making her nipples hard and nipply. She hated that.

Jadbalja's mane got in his eyes. His grooming got less groomed. Now unless that happened in the dance of battle, she was not putting up with that.

She said, "Mountain, either you put your lips into the dust or I will strike you down." Did that mountain listen? It did not.

She left Jadbalja to watch the mountain. She soared up on the thermals. She went high, but that mountain's drafts were tricky. It thought it could smash her down. She went higher. She went all the way to her Sky Father An's house.

She set down and she said, "I want permission to destroy Mount Eib. It has been disrespecting me."

Sky-Father An laughed. "You can't destroy Mount Eib."

"But Sky-Father, I have to give this mountain the smack down of all smacks." Inanna had her hands on her hips. She meant business.

But Sky-Father An laughed again and it was like the stars were laughing at her. He said, "I didn't mean you shouldn't, though, of course you shouldn't. I meant you can't destroy a mountain." Sky-Father held up a hand and started ticking his fingers down. "I made that mountain myself out of the bits of Tiamat that Marduk gave me for mountain making. That mountain will stand until the end of time" He ticked a finger down. "Now I know you stole a whole bunch of Mes from that drunk idiot Enki. But that's just civilization. Nothing civilization's got on a mountain." He ticked another finger down. "I forbid you to destroy that mountain." His fingers made a fist. "You hear, little girl?"

Inanna had her hands on her hips and she said, "Oh, I hear."

She flew off. She went and got all the mes out of her city. She said, "Hey, Jadbalja, how about that mountain?"

Jadbalja roared back his response. His black mane was all tangled now. There were burs in his coat from where that mountain had been blowing its wind at him. He still roared, because he was her badass, mofo lion, bigger than all the other lions. She had Jadbalja piss on the trees of the forest. While he was marking things, she set to work on the top of the mountain.

She said, "Civilization can make a pit out of a mountain." She set to work hacking and destroying. She took down those peaks. She sent the ice back to keep her people cool. She had all that pretty blue stone taken back to Uruk where the people built her an even better temple. This temple was three times as tall and made of the prettiest blue stone anyone had ever seen. She had her artisans carve her star all over those damn rocks. She had the trees cut down. They were her trees. Her mofo lion had pissed all over them. She sent them to the Uruk to be used for their lumber to build buildings and gates and ships for the river. 

Inanna kept going. She kept on going until there nothing but a pebble. That pebble kissing dust at her feet said, "Why did you destroy me? I was just being a mountain."

Inanna crouched down and she said, "I destroyed you because you were tall and beautiful, and my Sky-Father made you to be like that. I destroyed you because you were a part of what was left of Tiamat, who was killed by Marduk. I destroyed you because when I came up for a hike, you didn't bow down. I destroyed you because I was told I couldn't."

She picked up that pebble and she walked back down by the river. She tossed that pebble a few times in the air and she threw it in the river. The she said, "Jadbalja, I'll race you back to the city."

Course she cheated what with the flying, but Jadbalja licked her hand when they got to her nice big blue temple. She lounged on her seat looking at her city. She said, "I'm tired after all that. Maybe I should sleep."

Jadbalja yawned. 

But then she heard the flute players down at the taverns. She saw the dancing boys with their paint heading to the taverns. She said, "Maybe just one drink."

Jadbalja huffed. 

She looked down at where she was pretty much a mess of dust and mud from taking out that mountain. "I see what you mean." She got herself bathed up and Jadbalja groomed down. By the time she was done, the flute music was even louder, but they looked mighty fine.

Inanna laughed as headed down to the tavern. As she passed a prostitute, she called out, "Nice pearls." The prostitute bowed to her and tossed her the pearls. She passed a pretty dancing boy with a raven's feather hat. She said, "Nice hat." He tossed her the hat with the raven's feather.

Inanna put them on and headed into the tavern for just one drink, or maybe three. After all, she had a lot to celebrate. She'd destroyed a mountain into a pebble then thrown that pebble away.

**Author's Note:**

> If after reading my fiction here, you would like to read more about me and my writing check out my profile.


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